As I prepared to celebrate the 4th anniversary of the stroke this today, I have so many thoughts and feelings. I find myself looking back for some answers as to why I had the stroke and also to record how far I've come in the stroke/aphasia/apraxia journey. I have some limited physical issues, but mainly I struggle to communicate effectively due to the aphasia and apraxia of speech. If you follow this blog you know that I had the stroke on Mother's Day, May 12, 2019. I had just had surgery to repair a fully torn rotator cuff in my right shoulder. (something I looked forward to and prepared for) I was expecting to have a long recovery from the surgery, but I wasn't fully ready for what was to come. I came home right after the surgery. And 40 hours later and couldn't speak or even utter a sound.
On every anniversary I try to remember what I did before and create some goals for the upcoming year.
On the first one, I pivoting away from the formal recovery part and focused on moving forward. On the second one, my main concern was continuing to work on my speech and writing skills on my own and improving my self esteem. On the third, I was ready to explore more opportunities and look outward more.
And now, I think I’m at a crossroads again. How much should I spend on my "recovery" and how much can I get back in the "real" world. I would like to do three things.
First I still would like to work on improving my speaking and writing. Even though I was an avid reader, I don’t find the same pleasure I did before and at this time it is not a priority for me. But in order to have my best life, I still want to work on communication skills. These will help me to get to the second and third things.
I would like to move out into the world both physically and online. With Covid not as much as an issue I would like to do more things with people. I don’t believe that I’m ready for a formal volunteer position but I would like to help out with my church and community. There are many such opportunities and I think I’m finally ready to explore.
And finally it’s not only about my improvement now. I think I’m ready to do more online to share my story and experience living with aphasia and especially with apraxia. I have begun working with a local nonprofit in RI to moderate an aphasia community group on FB and am working to form an apraxia support group. I have created a YouTube channel to share videos on what it is really like have aphasia and apraxia. I hope that I can not only make them aware but share my optimism with other people who are going through this.
I have done some research about my stroke which I will share in a future post. While I'm looking back a little, I truly am looking forward and making plans that will help me move even further. I am so very grateful to have this life. I am celebrating today!
Until next time.........
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