On Sunday, I went to mass and heard a sermon that spoke to me and I wanted to share what I thought. The priest said, “God wants you to have a big life! We are made for great lives. To be bold. If we have a small life, we have small faith.”
This really struck me. This was a bit alarming. I have always said ”I have a small life.” I never say this as a bad thing. I thought that I was just being realistic. I live a simple life. I only had one real love relationship. With my husband of more than 40 years! Wow! Even saying that out loud is surprising. 40 years! We have a very good life. We have two great children. Who are grown and having their own wonderful lives with their spouses. My daughter is also busy raising her own wonderful daughter, my granddaughter.
I have also had wonderful, fulfilling positions through the years after staying home with my children. In each of these positions I know I have done good work. I haven't done anything remarkable Though. I'm very ordinary.
Now the priest is insinuating that I must have small faith!
Or did he?
Then the priest talked more and I realize that I have had and continue to have a big life.
He continued....
It is greatness to give ourselves away. To go where God takes you. To take advantage of what come to us. To see the opportunities presented to us. See the opportunities we have right now.
What we choose to take advantage of, the situations and experiences we choose, take us on different paths in life. I don’t believe of future is preordained. As the priest said, God (the universe) gives us opportunities all the time. Even before the stroke I believed this.
Sometimes we know right away if we should do something. It just feels right and we are drawn to use our skills. Somethings are not so obvious. They present themselves over and over until we pay attention sometimes. But there are signs all around us. We are free to either take advantage or not, choose to accept the opportunities or not, but we first have to recognize they are there. Sometimes, it’s hard to see what’s right in front of us.
After the stroke, so many opportunities were present. But at the beginning all I saw was loss. Loss of my voice. Loss of my reading and writing ability. Loss of some comprehension. Loss of my job. Loss of our future financially. Loss, loss, and more loss. It goes without saying I was in a negative space.
Shortly thereafter, I began to see clearer, both figuratively and literally. The stroke and the remaining communication challenges were only that….challenges. And who hasn’t had challenges?
I began to see that opportunities still existed in my life. I could still do the things I wanted to even if I had to do them differently. I have had opportunities; I just had to be open to the possibilities.
I could still share myself with the world. Still share the gifts and strengths that I was given by God and was able to enhance through my experiences here on earth.
I will only share a few of them here. I saw the opportunity to participate in the Dear RI pen pal program at the beginning of covid lockdowns. I was able to improve my writing ability especially my handwriting by taking my time. I also got to engage with some really cool people who I wouldn't have "met" in RI. I'm still corresponding with one of the penpals even today. I'm not sure what she is getting out of the correspondence but I can only hope I make a difference in her life as she does in mine.
Right after beginning to work with my third Speech Language Therapist, she told me about the BU Aphasia Center. I was finally in a headspace that I could look outside myself and meet others who were experiencing similar challenges with aphasia and I hoped apraxia of speech. My involvement grew over the last couple of years. Although I am not partcipating in their small groups facilitated by their professors and student SLPs (because I'm not allowed to as a non resident of Massachusetts), I am still connected with some of the amazing and inspiring people. When out of state residents were excluded, the director created a group for us (Education and Resource). I have volunteered to continue this group by organizing the weekly zooms and emailing reminders to the group.
Through my interaction with the BU Aphasia groups I was given the confidence to join other national aphasia organizations and have writing about a dream of mine, to create a 1 to 1 peer conversation partner program. This is no longer a just dream. This morning is a first zoom meeting to discuss how it can become a reality.
Giving of ourselves changes the world for those whom we touch. It helps us to create the full life we want to lead.
We are truly born to have a great life.
But it’s our choice to take advantage of the opportunities presented to us.
