Big and little things both have their place. The big ones, the big dreams and goals, keep us going and move us forward, and the little things can keep us in the moment and bring us joy or can keep us focused on what matters most to our recovery. Some big ones, however, can make us worry unnecessarily or hurt our progress if we let them.
This week, I was looking for information on aphasia, especially existing videos on living successfully with this communication disorder. I didn‘t see any new videos but on the National Aphasia Association website, I saw a book club was starting this week. And I registered. We will be reading and discussing, The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy. The book explores how the small things affect people's behavior and their lives. I started to read and listen to this book and I was a bit frustrated. This fiction book has very detailed language and that can confuse me with my type of aphasia. I wrote to the coordinator and explained that I may have to drop out of the book club.
Then, as if confirming that I need to read this book and be part of the book club, the next day I received an email from Daily OM, “Discover the Little Things that Make Us Happy”. Also, the coordinator responded that this is a more challenging book and we all will get through it together. As I’m being intentional this year, one of the things I’m trying to do is connect more with people with aphasia, so I finished the chapter and attended the book club on Thursday.
Before we talk more about the topic today, here is the article from the Daily OM.
Discovering the Little Things That Make Us Happy
Rediscover the little things in life that make you happy, add a new little thing each day, and be prepared to shine. Life is full of little wonders that can make us happy. The sound of a baby's laughter, a good book, the comforting smell of a favorite old sweatshirt, and the warmth from a cup of hot tea are simple pleasures that can easily put smiles on our faces. These "little things" are easily accessible to us and can be sources for happiness. A key to finding them is taking the time to put those rose-colored glasses from childhood back on so you can easily access the joy in all the "little things" life has to offer. Finding a puppy rummaging through the laundry basket, trying on that perfect shade of lipstick, or discovering the extra change you left in your back pocket can turn into moments of delight. Like kids digging in the sandbox for buried trinkets, we may even begin to experience happiness when we engage in the seemingly mundane. Figuring out a software program can feel like deciphering a treasure map, and that first sip of tea in the morning can taste like a forbidden delicacy. Swaying to music playing on the radio can turn into an interpretive jig, riding a bike can seem like flying to the moon, and getting a phone call from that special someone can feel like winning the lottery. A pickup game of basketball becomes an exciting match among champions, and observing an elderly couple walking hand in hand can turn into a meditation on peace and contentment. When we begin rediscovering that the little things in life can make us happy, we naturally want to share this joy with others. We may gush over a friend when we run into them unexpectedly, praise a street musician for their talents, or blow bubbles for the neighborhood kids to chase. We may even start to think of the little things we can do to make other people happy, which in turn makes us happy all over again. There is an endless supply of little things and little moments that can make us happy. All we have to do is look for them, and they'll magically start to appear.
Never have I been more present in my life. I’m sure there have been many times when I enjoyed the little things. But I am much more aware of how the little things help to bring me joy after my stroke. And I am much more present when I am with my granddaughter.
At the beginning of my stroke and aphasia journey, I had to attend to the little things. The things that I could no longer do or could only do with great effort. I had to pay attention to the way I did things to do them correctly or to make sure I was not going to get hurt. I think about not being able to see clearly. Not being able to feed myself. Not being able to bathe myself. Not being really stable on my feet. Not being able to talk or communicate fully.
It was so important to my progress that I paid attention to how I did all these little things, things I once took for granted. Knowing how to hold a fork and knife. Learn how to write with my left hand. And most importantly for my speech, looking at other people's mouths to remember how sounds and words were formed. A part of neuroplasticity is doing things over and over and that is just what I had to do.
But it was not just what I needed to do that I attended to more closely. This past year, I also focused on the little things more. It was the little things I noticed that brought joy. Hearing music. Seeing birds and butterflies. Noticing and smelling flowers.
I did this when I was alone, but it was so much more poignant when I was with Kiera, my granddaughter. When I was with her, time seemed to stand still. I was able to see things better through her eyes. Her curiosity gave me back my rose colored glasses that are talked about in the above article from the Daily OM. Every time we played music or she made a toy “sing”, she danced her little dance, swaying her arms and moving her hips from side to side. Pure joy on her face. When we were outside just examining a leaf or piece of grass it was magical. When thinking about stroke recovery, we hear a lot of importance of noticing small changes in progress, sometimes called noticing the small wins. Because we often don’t see the small wins, it's important to document them if we can. I know that I wish I had done that sooner and that I remember to do this now as well.
I also don't want to forget the little things of my stroke recovery and of my life with apraxia and aphasia. The little kindnesses that were given to me. The nurse at the emergency room who made sure he saw all of me, not just my stroke. My cousin who was living in MN and now in CA, remembering to ask me how I am doing from time to time. The patience of my family who played charades and UNO over and over at the beginning when I could not speak. And the list goes on and on.
Ad now I'm also reminded that "God is in the details". The beautiful world with its treasures. The people who I meet. The gift of my wonderful granddaughter who gives me even more to live for. Even in the challenges we all face. I have some big dreams that I hope will become big goals some day. Maybe soon!
Question: What little things have you paid close attention to lately?
Until next time...
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