A few days ago I told you how the nurse reacted when I told her that I have aphasia. She seemed like she understood. But when she raised her voice to give me the directions, I could tell that she had no clue what it was. It did nothing to help me or my understanding. Not only could I not process what she was telling me, but it just got me frustrated and then I could not think.
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One of the reasons I write this blog is to make people aware of my communication challenges and promote awareness. Today I would like to share some tips for communicating with a person with aphasia and apraxia of speech.
1. Be curious and really listen. If you are comfortable, ask questions about my communication disorder if I tell you I have one. I may say "I have aphasia." or "If you can't understand the way I talk, it is because I have apraxia of speech." or "I have trouble speaking." I'm opening the topic so I don't mind talking about it.
Even if you know what a communication disorder is, there are many different types. I heard this saying "if you know one person with aphasia, you know one person with aphasia." Every person is different and the ways a communication disorder manifests itself is different from one person to another.
2. Be an engaging partner.
a. speak directly to me. In order to understand you, I may need to see your mouth. to help me form some words I need a model of where the tongue and mouth move.
b. don't assume you know what I mean. One of the worst things that a communication partner of mine is to correct a word that I'm trying to express or to finish my sentence.
C. encourage me. Encourage me to use strategies to get the correct word or message out.
Accept alternative ways to express my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it's easier to write or draw. Using facial expressions and body language can help.
d. limit background noise and distractions. Choose a setting that is quiet and conductive for conversation. Background music can be distracting. Other side conversations can confuse my thoughts and end the conversation.
3. speak clearly and concisely. You don't need to "dumb down" your speech, but be as clear as you can. Direct statements are easier to comprehend. Passive sentences are more difficult sometimes. Stick to one topic at a time. It helps me to know what the subject is and when it changes that there is a clear transition.
4. accept my tone. please don't get offended by my more staccato voice and sometimes negative tone. I have a hard time modulating my tone and pitch. Sometimes I think I'm talking very loud and in reality people think I'm whispering. When I get excited about telling a story or sharing something important, I can appear impatient and negative. I think it is because of the energy I need to expend getting the words and doing the motor planning to actually say the words out loud.
5. Support my communication skills
a. allow time for me to process the information you are trying to relate.
b. have patience. I struggle to find the right words many times. Not only does it take more time for me to come up with the right word, sometimes I need to substitute another word that may or may not be a synonym.
6. Be real and honest. if you don't understand me or what I'm trying to say, please tell me. I would rather be told to repeat what I say or know that I'm not making sense to you, than to go on and on with you not understanding. that is not communication.
If I don't understand what you're saying, I will ask you questions or ask. you to repeat. But if what you're trying to tell me is super important, ask clarifying questions to make sure I understand. (This is true for medical professionals. Aphasia can make understanding complicated information more difficult.)
7. Communication is a two way street. Even though I can't express all the things I want to, I still have thoughts and would really like to tell you what I think. Include me in conversations, but please don't expect me to contribute. Calling me out "what do you think, Cheryl?" can put pressure on me and then I draw a blank. Let me decide when and if I contribute to the conversation, especially in small group conversations.
I'm sure, there's a lot more that makes conversations work better with a person who has a communication disorder. And of course, these are not just great tips for communicating with a person with a language or speech disorder; these can be used whenever you want to ensure great communication with anyone.
until next time…..
com·mu·ni·ca·tion
[kəˌmyo͞onəˈkāSH(ə)n]
NOUN
the imparting or exchanging of information or news: "at the moment I am in communication with London" · [more]synonyms:transmission · imparting · conveying · reporting · presenting · [more]
a letter or message containing information or news: "a telephone communication"synonyms:message · statement · announcement · report · dispatch · [more]
the successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings: "there was a lack of communication between Pamela and her parents"
(communications) means of sending or receiving information, such as phone lines or computers: "satellite communications" · [more]
(communications) the means of traveling or of transporting goods, such as roads or railroads: "a city providing excellent road and rail communications" synonyms: links · connections · services · routes