Was waiting to get a medical alert bracelet hubris or a timely event?
(Definition and synonyms for hubris at the end)
Last week I received my first medical alert bracelet. I probably should have gotten one years ago when I first learned that I have adult onset diabetes. But that seemed too drastic. I was not sick or compromised in any way. I control my blood sugar quite well with diet and take a small amount of medication. And I’ve been told that I probably don’t need to take the medication any longer, but I feel great on it so still take them.
But when I had the stroke in 2019, should I have gotten it then? What stopped me for almost 2 years? Did I have excessive pride? Was I too proud to have people think I need help?
The lasting effects of the stroke are mostly hidden. You can’t tell that I have the nerve damage unless I tell you about the pain. And you can’t tell I have aphasia and apraxia until I open my mouth to speak.
Was I pretending that I didn’t have any problems? No, at this time, I don’t think that is what was happening. Granted, at the beginning of my stroke journey, I was afraid to tell most people that I had a stroke. Even close friends and my extended family weren’t told as this was my choice. I was in denial in a way. I knew that I had a stroke but I was certain that I would be able to recover soon. In fact, I was sure that in a few months no one would be able to tell that I had a stroke. (My husband laughed at me at the time, but I was adamant. Did I already tell you that I am stubborn?)
Over the next few months, reality finally set in. Although I still felt that with time and a lot of practice, someday, people won’t be able to tell that I had a stroke, I couldn’t stay away from everyone I loved. It was then, I let family and friends in and even went back to work part time.
From May 2019 through the year 2020, I was able to heal and look within. I worked hard in speech therapy, occupational therapy and on my mental health. I remembered how important high self esteem is on success. I worked on rebuilding my self esteem which was affected by the stroke.
At the end of 2020 as the new year was coming, I started to look outside myself again; understanding that I could continue to work on me AND also think about helping others again. I decided to have a “yes” attitude toward new experiences. It still scares me a little, but I know I am more ready. I’ve had a lot of support.
One of the things I now know is that I need to tell my story and to help people to be aware of what aphasia is. This blog is one way that I’m trying to do that. As a former ESL teacher, I am more than aware of how important communication is. I remember my students wanting more than anything else to be able to communicate with their doctors. When I couldn’t make my needs known in the hospital because of a lack of communication, I saw first hand how frustrating it can be. With this new medical alert bracelet, which I hope I never have to use, I can be sure that medical professionals know immediately that I have aphasia. I’m pretty sure most will not know what that means, but I hope that they are curious enough to look it up. I further hope that they are given good strategies to communicate with me effectively.
No one told me get a medical alert at this time. No one suggested that I would be safer with one. I just knew it was the right time. —————————————————————————————————————————
HUBRIS.
[ˈ(h)yo͞obrəs] NOUN
excessive pride or self-confidence. synonyms: arrogance · conceit · conceitedness · haughtiness · pride · vanity · self-importance · self-conceit · pomposity · superciliousness · feeling of superiority · hauteur · uppitiness · big-headedness
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