I’m not sure if this is the healthiest approach, but I now sometimes think about things from a before stroke and after stroke perspective. Some people would say that we have to forget about the past and move on and just focus on building our new life. I think we can learn a lot from the past. We can learn about ourselves from looking back and figuring out why did what we did. We can learn a lot from our past challenges and grow from them. And remembering what strengths we were able to use to achieve success is also important.
Before stroke I would have considered myself a nurturer. I really enjoyed staying at home with my children when they were little. I know this was a luxury that many people don’t have and I considered the time that I was able to spend with them as a privilege. (My husband often jokes and asks me when he can stay at home with the kids. They are 37 and 33 years old…..lol)
When I returned to work, I became a teacher - first working with children and then working with adults. Even when I took a more administrative role, I was a nurturers of others.
Now after stroke, I realized that I was not a natural nurturer of myself. I felt guilty and selfish even thinking about doing things just because I wanted to. I am more aware that I have to nurture myself in order to be able to nurture others. I still have the strong desire to help other people. That has been my passion and I think the reason I am here on this earth. But if I don’t take care of myself physically, emotionally and spiritually, I won’t be able to help anybody else.
So how did I learn to nurture myself after a stroke? I looked back at all the ways I had assisted, cared for, empowered, taught, helped, advanced and promoted others and now I try to do these things for myself and my recovery. I’m not an expert by any means, but I believe that nurturing myself is a necessary component for success in recovery.
Have you learned to nurture yourself? If so, how did you learn to do this?
I am not a natural self-nurturer, but am learning to get better and better at it. I'm so glad you're writing about nurturing this month.
I am just learning to nurture myself. I recognized for the first last summer that I was letting a friend 'abused me'. It was one of those Oprah light bulb moment. I saw that I was not valuing myself. I've known this 'friend' for a long time but I did all the friending but it is still hard to let go. I felt like I was being mean and unsympathetic.I've gotten over that and Covid makes it easier.