It's been over a month since I've posted. I wanted to document that this is in part due to the challenges I have getting the words on paper due to my aphasia. It's not that I don't have the thoughts. Sometimes there are so many. Too many. I still find it extremely difficult to get the words on paper and getting all the thoughts together in an organized fashion. I have started four blog posts in this month and couldn't finish any. Here's hoping that I can share what I've thought about on this subject in a way that I want to post it finally. Fingers crossed!
What are heirlooms? How important are they to you? I had to look the word up as I usually do to see if I have the definition correct. That is part of my aphasia. Heirlooms are "valuable objects that have belonged to a family for several generations". As a general rule, I really don't think about them that much. But during the summer, we were at a family party. Of course all kinds of subjects come up during this type of event. One topic that stayed with me was passing down family heirlooms to our children. Most people there came to the conclusion that their children wouldn't want anything they own, even their most precious items.
Would our children want the china sets that was passed down from our grandparents? The big antique table or hutch that we cherished from our great, great aunt? The clunky silver tea set from our great grandparents? Probably not.
But I was convinced that my children would accept, no, welcome the chance to inherit at least some of the things that were passed down to us from their grandparents and great grandparents.
After the party, I really looked around my house to identify those things that I thought were heirlooms. And I realized that all of them displayed were from my husband‘s side of the family. Did I not have any heirlooms? I guess not! I let the thought pass when I couldn't think of anything.
In the next few weeks, my daughter asked me to find the diamond ring that she inherited from my mother in law. She had planned to put the diamond in another setting for her own engagement about 6 years ago. When she had the ring appraised, she was told that the diamond has a flaw called an inclusion and they didn't recommend that it be moved to another setting. Apparently she thought that I took the ring back to RI to be held there for insurance purposes or some other reason. I really didn't think it was in my house. I looked in all the normal places that I keep important things. I prayed to St Anthony, the patron saint of lost items. Then I started some fall cleaning, cleaning out dressers and cupboards that I was sure that I wouldn't have put it in. Then I found it on the bottom of a Tupperware container that I threw odds and ends and costume jewelry I wore to work some 3 years ago. Who would have guessed?
What I also didn't expect was that at the same time, I found a cassette tape that contained the interviews that my daughter did with my mother and me in 2001 for a school project. Somehow I had never listened to this tape before. I had to buy a new cassette player to listen to it, but when I did what joy it brought me. Not only did it answer the question, what family heirlooms do we have, but it also contained the voice of my mother who passed away shortly after my stroke and had my "normal" speaking voice, prestroke.
For the question in the taped interview, "do we have any family heirlooms?" I told my daughter that I have two things that mean a lot to me. I have an oil lamp that was my grandmothers. I remember using it during snowstorms when we were growing up. Because we couldn't watch TV because the lights were out, we used the oil lamp to light the room so we could play board games like Monopoly and Sorry. My daughter‘s only remark was, "You had TV?"
I also told her that I have a cameo pin that was given to me by the same grandmother on the day of my wedding. that was my something old. This cameo had been given to my grandmother on her 16th birthday by her grandmother as she was the oldest granddaughter and I am also the oldest granddaughter. I don't know why she didn't give it to me on my 16th birthday as was done for her. But I'm so grateful that she did give it to me.
Now I started to think differently about handing down family heirlooms and what family heirlooms really are. I realized by having a story attached to this items, they were more valuable to me. Will they be more valuable to the next generation if I can share a story as well? It would have been nice to hear more about these items too. I imagine that that my grandmother used the oil lamp in the same way we did. I imagine that she used this one in the hurricane of 1938 when my father was 2 and was almost hit by a tree that flew through his bedroom window. I will have to ask my father who is still alive if this was the case.
Now that I have the interviews digitalized and have the stories of these heirlooms recorded I believe that my children will want to keep these items and perhaps pass them down to their children or pass them to other relatives that can cherish not only the items but the history, the stories from the people who used them before.
To me heirlooms are just nice items until we attach a powerful story to them that tells us more about our ancestors and their lives. I'm so glad that I found these interviews and can pass on these stories to my children. I'm sure that I can't do the same for all of the things we would like to pass down, but I will at least try to find stories for the most important ones that my husband and I cherish. I have a lot of work ahead of me. Please wish me luck!
So what do you think? do you think heirlooms are just physical objects, things we can actually touch or can they they be digitalized stories, audio and video that we can share by email, played on a computer or stored on the cloud?
I am convinced that in time, these things we can give the next generation that they can see and hear and experience them because of advantages of technology will one day be considered heirlooms as well. What do you think?
Do you cherish anything that has been passed down to you? Is there a story behind it? Does anything you own tell a story about something important in your life?
What about things like photographs? Do you consider these heirlooms? Now that we have more technology available, will we pass down these electronic memories of our lives?
Can a family heirloom be digital?
perhaps there’s another blog post coming on these.
Until next time.......
Heirloom - heir·loom /ˈerlo͞om/
noun
a valuable object that has belonged to a family for several generations. "the violin was a family heirloom"