In the Providence Journal recently, there was an article entitled “Together again, Anxiety joins us in the crowd”. At this time when we are thinking about going out in public again after a year of being isolated because of Covid, this is on my mind a lot. How are we going to react to interacting with people after all this time? I’ve been so used to not being with other people, even my close family, and I’ve gotten used to it. I have more than a little bit of apprehension.
This is the way I’ve been feeling since I went to church Sunday March 7. This was the first time in a year since we’ve been to church in person.
We were socially distant. We could only sit in every other pew. Honestly, it was nice to see my fellow parishioners when we first got there. But as mass went on, I got progressively anxious. I felt as if my mask was letting in air and possibly the virus, even though I had worn this mask successfully for months. Then I noticed the elderly man who was in the same row as me. I had known him for years. He sat near us often. We waved to him each week. He is nice man.
But this time he was a threat to me....he had his mask under his chin. We were more than 8 feet apart. He didn’t look sick. He wasn‘t coughing or sneezing, but now, in my mind, he was a potential threat to me and my health.
I have always trusted my instincts. Ordinarily you could trust this inner voice which alerts you of danger. But now my inner voice may be on overdrive because of Covid isolation; telling me that danger exists when there really isn’t one.
I know I have to get this under control. Isolation for someone with aphasia hasn’t been helpful. The most important thing for recovery is practice, practice and more practice. Before we were “lock-downed”, I was begining to start my new life without my job. It was hard to be forced to “retire” for my health, but I knew that I still could help people. I was just starting to look for volunteer opportunities and starting to go out for lunch with friends. Now that things have started to open up, I know that I need to resume these things so I can continue my recovery.
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