Have you ever wondered why some people are successful and some are not? And why some are a success in one area and not in all?
I am not going to try to convince you that I have all the answers. I do not. I believe everybody has to find their own unique way. But, I believe I’ve learned some things that have made me successful in some areas and helped other people achieve goals that they didn't think they would. And I hope that sharing this learning may made it easier for those who are struggling with life after a stroke and especially with Living Well With Aphasia. It is my ultimate goal to create something tangible, i.e. a guide book, or living well with Aphasia handbook, book, or I don't know what. I will talk more about my BIG Dreams in another blog post soon.
For most of my professional life, I researched and thought a lot about the topics of self esteem, motivation and resilience. I introduced these topics into the curriculum I created because I always thought that they are keys to successfully achieving goals. And when I was an administrator, I tried to remember these factors in the interactions I had with my staff, stakeholders and the community partners I worked with.
I really want to share what I’ve learned along the way, in my career and in my stroke and aphasia/apraxia journey so far. It is the reason I write this blog. I believe that focusing on these three things - rebuilding self esteem, increasing motivation and learning to be more resilient - can help recovery and assist in helping us to move on from the trauma to live the best life we can (Maslow’s self actualization).
And each of these, of course, includes many sub categories.
* rebuilding self esteem includes belonging (building a community), recognizing self worth as a unique individual (addressing mental health and identity), internal rewards, learning from the past (recognizing strengths), and determination. (Blog from February 5, 2021)
* increasing motivation includes goal setting, tracking progress, positive self talk, building an A team, self care, visualization, small steps that get acknowledged, focus, internal and external rewards. (Blog from January 12, 2022.) https://cheryltondreau.wixsite.com/blog/post/motivation-10-ways-to-increase-self-motivation
* learning to be more resilient (how quickly one bounces back from setbacks) includes optimism, acceptance, commitment, personal control, a thriver mentality, and a willingness to try and sometimes “fail”.
An article on resilence.
I know that not everybody who has a stroke or deals with aphasia and apraxia feels the same way I did (or do). But I suspect that many people do. Along my stroke and aphasia/apraxia journey, I had had very low self esteem. I felt "less than" because I not only lost my job which was fulfilling and helped others, but I lost my ability to communicate fully and that decreased my confidence. I suffered from depression and anxiety because of this. I doubted my self worth. I lost interest in things that used to make me happy. I lost my "community" except my immediate family. I doubted if I would ever be able to be an active part of the community and I desperately wanted to be helpful again.
I seemed to have forgotten what I had learned along the way that helped me and others succeed in the past. I was wrapped up in the day to day "rehab" activities (focusing on speaking, reading, and writing) and I didn't think about the bigger picture - of trying to live my best life WITH the challenges of aphasia and apraxia of speech. It was only when I was reminded of these things in mental health therapy, by my wonderful speech therapists and reading other's books and blogs, that I was able to bring it all together. It took me some time and I hope that by sharing some keys and strategies that I will help others get to that point easier and earlier in their recovery journey.
“It's said that a wise person learns from his mistakes. A wiser one learns from others' mistakes. But the wisest person of all learns from others's successes.”
― John C. Maxwell
In a project that I am involved in with the BU Aphasia Center, we are trying to come up with the most important topics that newly diagnosed people with aphasia (PWA) should be aware of. The project will then make or share videos about these important topics. So far I think we have three - community support, mental health, and goal setting.
All of these things relate to self esteem, motivation and resilience. Is this just a coincidence?
We all know that recovery is hard work. But isn’t that true of any other important goal we have? I hope that together we can make it easier for someone else.
QUESTION: What has been the most important thing you learned when you experienced adversity?
Until next time…..
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If you would like to hear this, click on the following link: https://static.wixstatic.com/mp3/353c0a_26633efc22b448ada8ee6b0809a04b61.mp3
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